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Thursday, 14 May 2015

T shirts With Funny Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

T shirts With Funny Sayings Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby.

This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print. – Dave Barry

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. – Dave Barry

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.Dave Barry

1 Beauty tips. How to look younger: Don’t be born so soon. – Charles M. Schulz

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. – Dave Barry

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. – Bill Watterson

It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept. – Bill Watterson

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right. – Ashleigh Brilliant

A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills. – Ambrose Bierce .

Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. – Ambrose Bierce

You’re only as good as your last haircut. – Fran Lebowitz

When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

When someone says everything happens for a reason, I’d like to smack them and say, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”

I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them.

I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

After exercising I always eat a pizza…Just kidding I never exercise.

A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry.

That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

Don’t do drugs kids. There’s a time and place for everything. It’s called college.

If my room is clean, it means that my internet is not working.

Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = pregnancy

When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.

When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.

My sex life is like a Ferrari…I don’t have a Ferrari.

The dumber you are, the smarter you think you are.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the easily offended deserve to be easily offended.

Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy’s pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.

My psychiatrist said to me, “Take these pills and you’ll be all right.” I told him that there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s the rest of the world, “I know. But it’s easier for you to take the pills than the rest of the world.”

That’s why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Poor : When you have too much month at the end of your money.

Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

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