Funny Says Biography
Source:- Google.com.pk
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
Victor Hugo
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler
I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
Arthur Conan Doyle
So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?
Christina Aguilera
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
Jimmy Durante
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Lewis Black
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
Alfred Hitchcock
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
Douglas Adams
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben
Be obscure clearly.
E. B. White
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns
If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.
Rob Corddry
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
Johnny Vegas
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Jay London
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
Fred Allen
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
Calvin Trillin
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
Mickey Rooney
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
Bette Davis
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
Paul Lynde
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
Cathy Guisewite
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Ogden Nash
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
James Thurber
I'm for whatever gets you through the night.
Frank Sinatra
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved.
Rose Kennedy
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.
Charles Kettering
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
Stephen Fry
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
Samuel Goldwyn
I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met.
Herb Caen
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher
We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later.
Louis Aragon
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
W. Clement Stone
If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.
Marcelene Cox
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
Andre Maurois
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
Margaret Smith
I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women.
Louis XIV
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
Paula Poundstone
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
Lewis Mumford
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Bette Davis
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
Jerry Seinfeld
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
Victor Hugo
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler
I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.
Arthur Conan Doyle
So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?
Christina Aguilera
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
Jimmy Durante
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Lewis Black
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
Alfred Hitchcock
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Mitch Hedberg
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
Lily Tomlin
I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.
Douglas Adams
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben
Be obscure clearly.
E. B. White
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns
If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.
Rob Corddry
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
Johnny Vegas
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Jay London
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
Fred Allen
As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
Calvin Trillin
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
Mickey Rooney
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
Bette Davis
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
Paul Lynde
Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
Cathy Guisewite
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Ogden Nash
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
James Thurber
I'm for whatever gets you through the night.
Frank Sinatra
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved.
Rose Kennedy
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.
Charles Kettering
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
Stephen Fry
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
Samuel Goldwyn
I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met.
Herb Caen
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Woody Allen
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
Groucho Marx
You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher
We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later.
Louis Aragon
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
Steve Martin
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
W. Clement Stone
If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.
Marcelene Cox
Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know.
Andre Maurois
My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
Margaret Smith
I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women.
Louis XIV
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.
Paula Poundstone
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
Lewis Mumford
I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Bette Davis
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Says Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
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