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Thursday 14 May 2015

Short Funny Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Short Funny Sayings Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk

Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print. – Dave Barry

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. – Dave Barry

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers. – Dave Barry

Beauty tips. How to look younger: Don’t be born so soon. – Charles M. Schulz

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. – Dave Barry

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. – Bill Watterson

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. - Anonymous
It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept. – Bill Watterson

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right. – Ashleigh Brilliant

You’re only as good as your last haircut. – Fran Lebowitz

When ever I get a headache I take two tablet of aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.

When someone says everything happens for a reason, I’d like to smack them and say, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

My mother texted me “What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?” I answered: “I don’t know, love you, talk to you later” Mother: “OK, I’ll ask your sister”

I retired early for health reasons – my company was sick of me and I was sick of them.

I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.

After exercising I always eat a pizza…Just kidding I never exercise.

A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in the face with a watermelon.

I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.

I will not be impressed with technology until I can download food from the internet.

When I get bored, I look through my entire phone to see if there are any cool options I missed.

When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but When I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic,.

The dumber you are, the smarter you think you are.

Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, Nooooooo.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the easily offended deserve to be easily offended.

There’s no vaccine against stupid.

Hardest job ever: Working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self control needed.

What the heck does the “Z” in “LOLZ” mean…”Laugh Out Loud…Zebras?”

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. – Rodney Dangerfield

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy’s pocket on an airplane and made a run for it. – Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it. – Rodney Dangerfield

My psychiatrist said to me, “Take these pills and you’ll be all right.” I told him that there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s the rest of the world, “I know. But it’s easier for you to take the pills than the rest of the world.” - Robert D Dangoor

I went to see my psychiatrist the other day and told him that I was talking to myself. He replied, “That’s all right. Just hold a mobile phone by your mouth.”

Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.

We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. – Leo J. Burke

chool for 12 years, college for 4 more years, then you work until you die. Cool.

I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.

Your age doesn’t lie. Neither does that face. - joshua michael levinson

Animals need to eat. But so do we. - joshua michael levinson

Monday again? Seriously though, I cannot keep doing this every week!

Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it does buy everything else.
It is better to be rich & miserable than poor & miserable.
My ancestors didn’t fight their way to the top of the food chain so I could be a vegetarian.

Short Funny Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images