Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk

Zen Christmas: the gift of nothingness.

Why is Christmas like a day at the office?

Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day - the birth of Santa?

- Bart Simpson (Matt Groening) 

How is the Italian version of Christmas different?

One Jesus, one Mary, and 33 wise guys.

On St. Patricks Day I to pretend to be Irish. At Christmas I pretend to be good.

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.

- Andy Borowitz

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.

- Melanie White

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

- Dave Barry

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.

- Bridger Winegar

Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas.

- Melanie White

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

- Winston Spear

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

- Andy Borowitz

Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.

- Melanie White

This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.

- Guy Endore Kaiser

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

- Johnny Carson

I don’t mind fruitcakes. They’re the one thing during the holidays I’m not tempted to eat.

- Melanie White

Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.

- Carol Nelson

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.

- Dave Barry

A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day.

- Melanie White

I’ve never really understood why Jews go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but I think it’s because so many Chinese restaurants have the word “temple” in their names.

- Dan Zevin

Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.

- Melanie White

The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: “Some assembly required.”

- John Leo

The amount of time and energy we spend putting up and taking down holiday decorations tells me our 'top of the food chain' claim is invalid.

- Linda in Disguise ‏

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for twenty minutes.

- Julius Sharpe ‏

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.

- Larry Wilde

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

- Kin Hubbard

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?

- Conan O’Brien

It’s the holiday season. Let the overeating begin!

- Melanie White

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

- Bob Phillips

The Holidays are the one time you get to experience all the excitement of rush hour traffic in the mall parking lot.

- Melanie White

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

- Andy Borowitz

Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!

- Ogden Nash

Last year I bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying “toys not included”.

Christmas is like a regular day at the office. You have to do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the deserts.

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has to see a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.

The only thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

You know you’ve grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought at a store.

We have cancelled this year Christmas, cause Santa died laughing, when I told him you was good this year.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.

I’ve seen you Facebook status updates, You’ll get a dictionary for Christmas.

I asked Santa for a sexiest person on earth and next morning I woke up in a box.

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Christmas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images