Funny Texas Sayings Biography
Source:- Google.com.pk
It’s better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
That’s close enough for government work.
Might as well. Can’t dance, never could sing, and it’s too wet to plow.
I could sit still for that.
You can’t beat that with a stick.
He can strut sitting down.
He’s all hat and no cattle.
She’s all gurgle and no guts.
He chamber-of-commerced it.
He’s on a first-name basis with the bottom of the deck.
There are a lot of nooses in his family tree.
So crooked that if he swallowed a nail he’d spit up a corkscrew.
So crooked you can’t tell from his tracks if he’s coming or going.
He knows more ways to take your money than a roomful of lawyers.
Crooked as a dog’s hind leg.
Crooked as the Brazos.
Slicker than a slop jar.
More twists than a pretzel factory.
Crooked as a barrel of fish hooks.
So crooked he has to unscrew his britches at night.
She’s more slippery than a pocketful of pudding.
He’s slicker than a boiled onion.
I wouldn’t trust him any farther than I can throw him.
If that ain’t a fact, God’s a possum.
You can take that to the bank.
You can hang your hat on it.
You can bet the farm on it.
He’s so honest you could shoot craps with him over the phone.
If I say a hen dips snuff, you can look under her wing for the can.
Born in Texas….a long, long time ago….
God bless America….’specially Texas !!
God blessed Texas with his own hands.
I wasn’t born in Texas….
but I got here as soon as I could.
Life’s too short not to live it as a Texan !!!
My heart “bees” in Texas …
(I saw this on a t-shirt with bees on it…)
Never ask a man where he’s from.
If he’s from Texas….he’ll tell you.
If not….don’t embarrass him !!
Take the wand
tap it to your cowboy hat one time…
Dance the two-step around the room twice…
And then….tap your cowboy boot heels together
and say,
Texan by birth…Aggie by the Grace of God !!!
Texas Earthworm
(this was on a sign that depicted a rattlesnake)
Texan to the Bones
(I saw this on a sign with the Texas flag and a set of longhorns)
Texas Ain’t no place for Amateurs…!!
Texas is Aggie Country !!
Texas is as close as I have been to Heaven !!!
The real name of Texas is…
BAJA OKLAHOMA !!
That’s close enough for government work.
Might as well. Can’t dance, never could sing, and it’s too wet to plow.
I could sit still for that.
You can’t beat that with a stick.
He can strut sitting down.
He’s all hat and no cattle.
She’s all gurgle and no guts.
He chamber-of-commerced it.
He’s on a first-name basis with the bottom of the deck.
There are a lot of nooses in his family tree.
So crooked that if he swallowed a nail he’d spit up a corkscrew.
So crooked you can’t tell from his tracks if he’s coming or going.
He knows more ways to take your money than a roomful of lawyers.
Crooked as a dog’s hind leg.
Crooked as the Brazos.
Slicker than a slop jar.
More twists than a pretzel factory.
Crooked as a barrel of fish hooks.
So crooked he has to unscrew his britches at night.
She’s more slippery than a pocketful of pudding.
He’s slicker than a boiled onion.
I wouldn’t trust him any farther than I can throw him.
If that ain’t a fact, God’s a possum.
You can take that to the bank.
You can hang your hat on it.
You can bet the farm on it.
He’s so honest you could shoot craps with him over the phone.
If I say a hen dips snuff, you can look under her wing for the can.
Born in Texas….a long, long time ago….
God bless America….’specially Texas !!
God blessed Texas with his own hands.
I wasn’t born in Texas….
but I got here as soon as I could.
Life’s too short not to live it as a Texan !!!
My heart “bees” in Texas …
(I saw this on a t-shirt with bees on it…)
Never ask a man where he’s from.
If he’s from Texas….he’ll tell you.
If not….don’t embarrass him !!
Take the wand
tap it to your cowboy hat one time…
Dance the two-step around the room twice…
And then….tap your cowboy boot heels together
and say,
Texan by birth…Aggie by the Grace of God !!!
Texas Earthworm
(this was on a sign that depicted a rattlesnake)
Texan to the Bones
(I saw this on a sign with the Texas flag and a set of longhorns)
Texas Ain’t no place for Amateurs…!!
Texas is Aggie Country !!
Texas is as close as I have been to Heaven !!!
The real name of Texas is…
BAJA OKLAHOMA !!
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Funny Texas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Texas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Texas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Texas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Texas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Texas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Texas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Texas Sayings Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
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