Monday 8 June 2015

Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

Funny Sayings And Quotes Biography

Source:- Google.com.pk

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

My goal for 2015 is to accomplish the goals of 2014 which I should have done in 2013 because I made a promise in 2012 which I planned on keeping back in 2011. :)

That awkward moment when you’ve already said ‘what?’ 3 times and still have no idea what the other person said, so you just agree!

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that. George Carlin

10-fun-facts10 Fun Facts
1- You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
2- You can’t count your hairs.
3- You can’t breathe through your nose, with your tongue out.
4- You just tried No.3.
6- When you did No.3 you realized it’s possible only you look like a dog.
7- You’re smiling right now because you’re fooled.
8- You skipped No. 5.
9- You just checked to see if there’s No. 5
10- Share this with your friends to have some fun too. :)

Figure out what to do, then take a nap. Adam Carolla

When in doubt, mumble.

Men are the best cooks, because with two eggs, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, he can fill a girl’s tummy for nine months.

 love-is-like-a-fart
Love is like a fart.
If you have to force it, it’s probably a crap.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

Sometimes I wish my dog could talk, but then I remember all the crazy shit he’s witnessed me doing.

 Sweetest kiss- On the head. Loveliest kiss- On cheeks! Most romantic kiss- On the lips! & the hottest kiss? On The bike’s silencer

I wonder If a bra is called an ‘over the shoulder bolder holder’, then what would you call men underwear?
It would be known as under the but nut hut?

when a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left.:D

Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.

Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.

SCIENCE FACT: If you close your eyes, you won’t be able to see.

My husband and I
divorced over religious
differences – He
thought he was God.

If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… just couple of nations not talking with each other.

Feel free to use anything, except my spouse & my toothbrush…I mean it about the toothbrush.
Unknown

I dig,
you dig,
We dig,
he dig,
they dig….
It is not a a beautiful poem but it’s very deep.

Whenever you are feeling sad, just remember that somewhere in the world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”. LOLZZZ

Ever wondered why need to pee intensifies when you are unlocking the door? :)

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Groucho Marx

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.
George Lichtenberg

Why go to college? There’s Google.

As you were, I was. As I am, you will be.
Hell’s angels

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henry Youngman

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least 5 years to the age of their best friend.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.
Yogi Berra

 we-learn-from-experience
We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.   LOLzzzzz
George Bernard Shaw

Every successful enterprise requires three men – a dreamer, a businessman, and a son-of-a-bitch.
Peter McArthur

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn’t stand for that.
Steve Martin

Death is nature’s way of saying, Your table’s ready.
Robin Williams

Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day.
Confusious

If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.
George Globol

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
Henny Youngman

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say “I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER.”.
William S. Burroughs

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts, while others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
Unknown

God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt.

I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug.

When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course.
Peter F. Drucker

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.
Sue Murphy

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
Yogi Berra

They’ve finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
Milton Berle

Nobody goes where the crowds are anymore. It’s too crowded.
Yogi Berra

Don’t let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

If I’m not back in five minutes… wait longer!
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
Unknown

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.
Groucho Marx

Women will forgive anything. Otherwise, the race would have died out long ago.
Robert A. Heinlein

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Unknown

Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition!

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, ‘Whoa, I’m way too high!’
Bruce Baum

Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images
Funny Sayings And Quotes Funny Sayings Tumblr About Love For Kids And Pictures About Friends About Life And Quotes Wallpapers About Work Images

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